Life Advice
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/ArcaMax
When Relationships Shift
Dear Annie: My sister "Claire" and I have always been close, but things have shifted since she had her first baby eight months ago. I understand that motherhood changes things, but lately I feel like I've been pushed to the sidelines. Every conversation revolves around the baby, and when I try to bring up anything going on in my life, she ...Read more
Husband Insists Intimacy Should Occur On His Schedule
DEAR ABBY: I am frustrated with my husband. We have been together 18 years. When it gets close to my menstrual cycle, he gets into an angry panic for us to be intimate because he travels for work and is home only four nights a week. If we're not able to, he pouts, then becomes angry and distant, and peppers me for updates to determine how soon ...Read more

Ask Anna: Should I stay married to someone who doesn't desire me?
Dear Anna,
I'm a 39-year-old man, married to my 36-year-old wife for 11 years. Last month I discovered she'd been having an emotional affair with a coworker that lasted about three months. When confronted, she admitted she hasn't felt attracted to me for over a year and that she's never really felt that "spark" with me, even though we've always...Read more
Single File: Workaholism -- Part 1
When career becomes life and there are virtually no boundaries between them, work stops being the connection it can -- and should -- be. When does that happen? Well, for one thing, when there is nothing it can connect you to. Think about that, please. In the same way an alcoholic hides behind a bottle, you could be using your job to protect ...Read more

Ask Dating Coach Erika: 'How do I ask ____?'
So many questions I get, as a dating coach, follow the format of, “How do I ask ____?” That blank might be “for more time together,” “for a date this Friday,” “for a few texts between dates,” “what they’re looking for in the future.” And in all of these cases, I would simple cross off the “how do I ask,” and you’re ...Read more

Asking Eric: Longtime friend always has to have upper hand in conversation
Dear Eric: I recently had lunch with an old friend. We have known each other for more than 50 years and get together three or four times a year to catch up. On my way home, I realized that every time I talked about something, either my family or something I had done, my friend couldn't wait to "best" me with her story. She didn't ask one ...Read more
After Embarrassing Accident, Employee Dreads Work
DEAR HARRIETTE: A few weeks ago, I had a really embarrassing accident at work. I tripped in the office and split my pants right in front of my colleagues. On top of that, I sprained my ankle in the fall, so I had to take some time off to recover. While I was out, I kept imagining everyone replaying that moment in their minds, and I worried about...Read more
Well, That's Just Peachy
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We invited over some of my partner's friends who all have young children. Our children are grown, but we adore kids.
We understand that kids make messes. We childproofed by moving breakable objects out of reach. We brought out a selection of toys for them to play with. We offered cookies and crackers, and fully expected to ...Read more
Letting Go to Protect Myself
Dear Worn Out: My three brothers and I are all senior citizens, and throughout our lives we have endured a very difficult relationship with our mother. From the time we were children, she was physically and emotionally abusive. She controlled us, manipulated us, lied to us and often gaslighted us.
Now that we are adults with families of our ...Read more
New Job Will Require A Healthy Dose Of People Skills
DEAR ABBY: I'm a man in my early 30s who has made a career switch. My new field requires me to be more social because I will be meeting with colleagues, some of them older than I am, and attending trade shows, meetings, and business and social networking outings. This was never part of my former job.
I'm somewhat shy, and I can be uneasy in ...Read more

Asking Eric: New husband wants to go on vacation without his wife
Dear Eric: I’m a newly married 69-year-old woman who was previously a widow after 43 years of marriage. My present husband and I have been married for a little over a year. We dated in high school and coincidentally ended up together.
Prior to getting married, my husband didn’t ever mention he wanted to go on an African Safari with his ...Read more
Difficult To Date After Breakup
DEAR HARRIETTE: Six months ago, my boyfriend broke up with me, and I'm embarrassed to admit that I still can't seem to get over him. The truth is that he wasn't even that great of a boyfriend. He was inconsistent with his communication, dismissive of my feelings and didn't do much to show me that he cared about me. Even knowing all of that, I ...Read more
Husband's Game Isn't Cute
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I dine out often. I use my napkin and have good manners, but even so, there are times that I apparently get small particles of food on my face.
When this happens, my husband thinks it's fun to play "food-on-your-face charades." He will point to his own face to let me know that there is a problem, then when I ...Read more
Protecting My Husband From Exclusion
Dear Annie: When my husband and I first got married, he made it clear that his mother would always be welcome to visit whenever she wanted since she lives far away. Over the years, she has come three or four times annually, often staying for a week at a time. She is generally helpful around the house, and we sometimes spend holidays with her, ...Read more
Couple Offers To Watch Neighbors' Home Free Of Charge
DEAR ABBY: Our neighbors, "Wanda" and "Bob," have agreed to care for our house and cat when we vacation. We told them we'd like to pay them for their troubles, but Wanda says they want to do it for free. Bob just smiles.
Judging by her body language, Wanda seemed offended when I asked her how much she'd like to be paid. You see, I'm sure we can...Read more

Asking Eric: Neighborhood gardener doesn’t want to chat about garden
Dear Eric: First, let me admit I am not very social. I genuinely do not like to stand around chit-chatting, especially when I’m in the process of working on something.
I moved into a new neighborhood two years ago. I have spent that time working on re-doing the landscaping, both front and back yards – new flower beds, took out the lawns, ...Read more
Ex Upset At News Of New Girlfriend
DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex and I dated for about three years while we were in college. When we broke up, we maintained our friendship and shared many things, like our friend group. Fast-forward to the present day -- five years post-college -- and we are still in the same friend circle, but it's becoming an issue. I started dating someone recently who...Read more
Guest's 'jokes' Fail To Land
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I regularly host events at our home for groups from five to 20 people. We all have a wonderful time and enjoy one another's company.
However, there is one guest who always makes an offhand "joke" about something in our home or the way I run my kitchen. Things like, "This is the dumbest dish I've ever seen," or ...Read more
Private Family Time Isn't Selfish
Dear Annie: My husband works in the family business alongside his father, his brother-in-law, and sometimes his brother and cousin. He is a generous, hardworking man who would give the shirt off his back for his family. Unfortunately, they seem to take advantage of that generosity.
Despite the pressures of the business, we make it a priority ...Read more
Supportive Aims Shift To Intense Feelings Of Guilt
DEAR ABBY: I'm a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. A fellow AA member suffered critical injuries in a motorcycle accident recently and had been in the ICU for several weeks. I visited the hospital regularly, bringing cookies and offering support to his girlfriend, who is also in the program.
During my last visit, I unknowingly arrived at the ...Read more
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