We have another batch of dating and relationship questions today. Get ready!

Q: How do I heal after a sudden breakup? I feel no desire to ever date again.

A: What you're feeling right now is completely normal. It feels like your heart is literally broken. You feel like you never want to date again. Don't try to override that feeling. It's part of the process.

But gradually, over time, without you even noticing, you will get back into yourself. You will rediscover who you are and what you like. You'll become curious about people again. In the meantime, surround yourself with friends and community (and perhaps a great therapist).

For better or for worse, this is a known feeling by most of us. Just as I always say there is no substitute for time in getting to know someone, there is also no substitute for time in getting through a breakup.

Q: Thoughts on waiting to date until you feel "good"' (about weight loss, mental health, work, etc.)?

A: This is a good question, and I get some variation of it every week. I'm going to answer in two ways:

1. There is never a perfect time in life to do anything. If we are always waiting for the “right” time, there will be no time. Everyone's situation is unique, so I can't tell you when the right time is for you. But I can tell you that no one is ever 100% perfect when they put themselves out there.

2. All of that said, while someone else can certainly make you feel good about yourself, another person is not a substitute for self-confidence. So l do encourage you to perhaps work with someone to look inward and find a place where you can feel some form of happiness exactly where you are. Because if we want people to love us as we come, we have to show ourselves that same compassion.

Q: Why do the brightest, most successful women have the most trouble dating?

A: That sounds like a really loaded question.

It could be that their standards are high, reasonably or unreasonably so. It could be that they live a beautiful life on their own, so they only want to entertain people who truly add value, not just combat loneliness. It could be that they think they are entitled to a particular type of partner because of their own success. It could be because they don't want to date. It could be because they think they are better than having to put work into dating. It could be that it's sometimes easier to complain than put in the necessary time, energy and work into dating. It could be that they can't see their own brightness or success in the way we do. It could be because they are leading with their accolades versus their personality. It could be that they simply haven't found the right match yet.

It could be any of this or none of this. And often, the simplest answer is the least satisfying one: Dating is hard for a lot of people, regardless of how smart or successful they are.

Q: We have been dating for one month. Communication has been very consistent. We had a fifth date planned, and he ghosted me the day before. What would you do?

A: I don't understand. You had a date planned and you went to confirm the day before and never heard back? If this was inconsistent behavior, did you call — yes, on the phone — to make sure he was OK?

Before I give advice on the actual ghosting, I think it's important that we don't immediately internalize things when something is out of pattern but rather investigate them instead. And I know you might think that's naïve because these behaviors happen all the time. But the confident approach is to initially assume it has nothing to do with you until proven otherwise.

Now, if it's in fact true that this person has simply stopped responding to you after planning a fifth date and being consistent for a month, which is extremely odd, then that is horrible and I'm sorry. It is up to you what to do next. You could let it go and move on. Or you could send a closure text if you like, essentially saying that you're disappointed they felt it best to end things this way, enjoyed what you had for the month, and wish them well.

The purpose of this is to get closure for yourself, essentially telling them you noticed and it's not OK, and indicating that they cannot reach back out to you in the future.

But if you're sending this to get a response, don't.

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