There was a time when a BMW coupe meant grace, balance, rear-wheel drive and sublime steering feel. The 2025 BMW X6 M Competition is anything BUT that. It’s a mind-ripping, retina-peeling, money-to-burn, Bavarian Rottweiler that’s unapologetically loud, brutally fast — and shaped like a sneaker. Nonetheless, it’s not so much driven as unleashed, a joyful act of middle-finger defiance to conformity, moderation and utilitarianism.

And it’s a true curiosity, if only because there’s so much about the 2025 BMW X6 M Competition that shouldn’t work, but does.

It’s an SUV with a sloped backlight meant to evoke sportiness. Yet its 8.3 inches of ground clearance sits high enough to frighten Jeeps, while its slanting silhouette sacrifices cargo space, an SUV’s raison d'être, to the gods of roofline aesthetics. It’s an SUV that weighs 5,454 pounds but moves like a bouncer wearing Ferragamo loafers. Then there’s BMW’s 4.4-liter twin-turbocharged V-8. It’s mated to a 48-volt mild hybrid system that’s not there for efficiency, as the EPA rates this rig at 15 mpg in combined city/highway driving. Instead, the hybrid system aids acceleration, with the powertrain offering up 617 horsepower and 553 pound-feet of torque to your right foot.

As a result, what happens once you press your case on the throttle is not unexpected. BMW says that reaching 60 mph takes but 3.7 seconds, but that's only if the laws of physics don't call their lawyer. This is a truck with a clear disdain for inertia usually reserved for space shuttles and large, angry bosses. The eight-speed automatic shifts without drama or hesitation, standing aside as speed is discharged and V-8 fury thunders from quad tailpipes the size of Civil War cannons. Its rear-biased all-wheel drive system has an electronic differential that’s dexterous enough to make you forget you’re piloting 5,454 pounds of Bavarian missile with the front profile of a garden shed. It stays flat in corners, brakes fiercely, and responds like a much smaller vehicle. And its adaptive dampers ensure a civilized ride despite the 21-inch front and 22-inch rear wheels. The only downside? Rearward visibility is a joke. Thank goodness for its multiple exterior cameras.

Yet the 2025 BMW X6 M Competition clearly defies physics and common sense. How is this possible? Again, it shouldn’t work, but it does.

And the interior? It’s lavish, of course, with thick, sumptuous leather covering seats that grip you like a jealous lover. A massive 27.2-inch curved display bathes you in a technological fever dream, while ambient lighting, carbon fiber, heated and cooled cupholders and massaging seats ensure your comfort. And of course, there’s Apple CarPlay, Android Auto, and an optional, concert-hall-worthy 20-speaker Bowers & Wilkins audio system. A Harman Kardon sound system comes standard.

The logical side of your brain may be chiming in at this point that a vehicle like the 2025 BMW X6M Competition is utterly unnecessary. It’s something that no one needs. And that’s true. Yet no one needs a vintage Patek Philippe or a bottle of 1946 Château Latour. But this is not about necessity; it’s about passion, longing and desire.

The 2025 BMW X6 M Competition is a moving mass of torque-fueled testosterone that will leave you grinning, something not always guaranteed in a vehicle with a six-figure price tag. Now, you may logically ask, who buys one? I can only guess. Real estate moguls? Crypto kings? Thirty-eight-year-old divorcees?

Regardless, the BMW X6 M remains an utter mystery. It’s a monument to money and might; at once a marvel of menace and muscle — and it’s utterly captivating.

2025 BMW X6M Competition

Base price: $129,700

Engine: Twin-turbocharged 4.4-liter V8 mild-hybrid

Horsepower/Torque: 617/553 pound-feet

EPA rating (combined city/highway): 15 mpg

Fuel required: Premium

Length/Width/Height: 195/80/67 inches

Ground clearance: 8.4 inches

Payload: 1,025 pounds

Cargo capacity: 27-60 cubic feet

Towing capacity: 7,200 pounds

©2025 Tribune Content Agency, LLC