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Ex-etiquette: Cycle of violence
Q. How do you tell someone who you have been terrible to that you want them back? Can you say you're sorry enough when you have hurt them so badly, they tell you they never want to talk to you again? My temper got the best of me during an argument, and I pushed my fiancee to the floor. She got up and walked out the door. I want to tell her I'm ...Read more
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Ex-etiquette: Exes and Valentine's Day
Q. Should I send a Valentine to my ex? What’s good ex-etiquette?
A. Each year I am asked this by literally hundreds of readers. I’m not sure why because the answer seems clear to me — but humans seem to be programmed by Hallmark, even if they don’t watch the channel. So, around about Feb. 14, we get nostalgic or romantic or both, and if...Read more
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Ex-etiquette: Too young for internet privacy
Q. My son’s father has only come back into our son’s life in the last year. Prior to that he lived in another state. Our son likes to talk to his friends in a social media chat room site, but I do not want him online unmonitored. I believe he is too young and when he does go online, I require him to give me all his passwords so I can monitor...Read more
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Ex-etiquette: Handling tough questions about your past
Q. My breakup with my ex was messy, and I stayed away from dating for a couple of years. However, I’ve recently signed up on a dating app and I’ve started to date again. Unfortunately, the first question everyone wants to know is why did I break up with my ex. I don’t want to talk about it. He was abusive and almost killed me and he is now...Read more
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Rand Paul wants to strip Planned Parenthood of funding over abortion, trans health care
U.S. Sen. Rand Paul, a Kentucky Republican, filed a bill Thursday to block all federal funds from being allocated to the reproductive health care organization Planned Parenthood.
Dubbed the “Defund Planned Parenthood Act,” the bill would simply require that “no federal funds may be made available to Planned Parenthood Federation of ...Read more
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Planned Parenthood of Illinois announces clinic closures amid statewide surge in abortion patients after the fall of Roe
CHICAGO — Citing a “financial shortfall,” Planned Parenthood of Illinois announced Wednesday – on the 52nd anniversary of Roe v. Wade – that it will be closing four clinics across the state, including one on Chicago’s South Side.
The health center shutdowns come as Illinois is already grappling with a surge in patients traveling ...Read more
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Ex-etiquette: They're still 'family' after the divorce
Q. My fiancé has a 2-year-old son and due to alternate work schedules, the child spends the days with my fiance and then nights with his mother. His ex-wife uses his mother as the main babysitter, even asking grandma to watch the child at her house because she is now attending law school and won’t be home until after bedtime. Is it wrong of ...Read more
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Ex-etiquette: It might be time for counseling
Q. My son is 9. His mother and I broke up a year and a half ago. Although we absolutely do not get along, we have been trying to share his time. We exchange every few days. Each time he has to leave my home, I see the happy little boy slip away. Sometimes he tells me he doesn’t want to go, but he can’t tell me why. I told his mother, but she...Read more
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Ex-etiquette: Meeting someone new
Q.My ex and I split up six months ago and our children go back and forth between our new homes. We don’t have a formal parenting plan -- the split was amicable; we just share the kids every few days. They are 5 and 7. It seems to be working OK, but I have recently met someone new. I am afraid this will complicate things, and their mother will...Read more
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Ex-etiquette: How can you co-parent when you can't agree?
Q. My ex is impossible. Each time we go back to court, I hope for a different outcome, but nothing is ever changed. No one understands! How do you co-parent with someone you cannot agree with? What’s good ex-etiquette?
A. Disagreements don’t stop co-parents from co-parenting well. Conflict is normal, but you do have to create an environment...Read more
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Ex-etiquette: Badmouthing your ex
Q. My ex is not a good person. She sends me terrible text messages that the kids have read over my shoulder. They tell me she refers to me as “sperm donor” when she talks to her friends. (They aren't sure what that means, but they know it's bad.) Now the kids are telling me they don’t want to go back to her home. We alternate weeks, and ...Read more
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Ex-etiquette: What's your motivation for giving a gift?
Q. I don’t hate my ex, and I’d like to get him a little something for Christmas. What’s good ex-etiquette?
A. I have multiple answers to your question. Do you have children or not? Using the children as qualifiers, that will help determine my answer.
If you don’t have children, how will the present be received, and what is the ...Read more
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Ex-etiquette: Her kids not welcome at the holidays?!!
Q. My son recently married a woman with four children. They also have a baby together, my only grandchild. We are expecting a lot of company for the upcoming holiday, and I have asked my son to bring my grandchild but leave his wife’s children at home. There’s just not enough room. Now he’s refusing to come, and I’m broken-hearted. What ...Read more
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Ex-etiquette: Why kids should keep talking
Q. My husband’s kids come back to our home with all sorts of stories about their mother and what they do at her house. I feel like I have no privacy. I have told the kids on multiple occasions that what goes on at our house is our business, and I don’t care what goes on at their mother’s home, but they continue to talk about it over there...Read more
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Ex-etiquette: Grief is tough
Q.My husband recently died. We were married for almost 50 years. He was married prior to our life together and he always told me they divorced because she did not want children. We went on to have three wonderful daughters. His passing was expected, but a terrible blow. I recently received a letter from the funeral home saying that his ex-wife ...Read more
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Ex-etiquette: Birthday snub?
Q. My husband’s 8-year-old daughter has a birthday this weekend and she decided she would like to take a few friends to the movies and then out for frozen yogurt around the corner from our home. My husband and his ex-wife plan to take her and I was not invited. What’s good ex-etiquette?
A. Let’s clarify something first. Your husband’s ...Read more