Life Advice
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Millennial Life: The Targets in the Desert
As I likened the election to an impending airplane crash, the irony was not lost on me that I spent the day after the election on a two-seater prop plane at our local airport with a state senator.
One of the more dicey options for interaction at City Hall, at least how ours is constructed, is just going to the bathroom. One option is the hidden...Read more
Single File: Reasons Why
DEAR SUSAN: The other day, a friend said that I'm angry at men and I seem to resent them, even if they're nice. Any thoughts on why this could be? -- Sallie D., New York City
DEAR SALLIE: There are many possible roots to your anti-male mindset, starting with the family dynamics in your home. I'd like you to scan the whole list of possibilities ...Read more
Ask Anna: How can I move past my boyfriend's cringey DMs?
Dear Anna,
I've been dating my boyfriend (36M) for five months, and recently, I found out that he had quite a reputation for sending unsolicited, borderline harassy messages to women online. A coworker of mine showed me some of his old DMs on Instagram — telling her how hot she was, and asking her out repeatedly, even though she never replied...Read more
'Still single' versus 'single and available'
“In your opinion, why am I still single? I want love to find me!!”
This is a text message I received recently from a frustrated client of mine.
I actually get this question more often than one might think. I replied, “This sounds like a question that can’t be answered over text. But I’ll start here: You’ve had relationships before,...Read more
Want to help a friend find love? Give a PowerPoint presentation
LOS ANGELES -- As a woman prepares to pitch her friend to an audience of roughly 200 eager singles, a few of their pals skip around the room, hold up cardboard signs that say "Team Jason" and hype up the crowd. A live band plays early 2000s pop music while the eligible bachelor makes his way to the stage and sits on a velvet blue couch under a ...Read more
Millennial Life: Don't Light the Pyre That Will Engulf Us All
My daughter's swim team meets at a local university. Another mother and I take walks around the campus during that hour, and last week, as we strode past some college students well acquainted with the Hot Topic fashion line, we heard, "I'm really liking Jill Stein."
There was slight whiplash as we looked at each other, and my friend covered her...Read more
Single File: Father as Mother
A recent letter in this column has stirred up a virtual hornet's nest. It comes from a 30-something man who -- vigorously and rather unpleasantly -- stakes claim to nearly all parenting rights and privileges in his (hypothetical) marriage. At the moment, he's neither husband nor parent. But he has thought through the battles he'd wage. Example: ...Read more
Ask Anna: The art of screening dates -- build connections while protecting your time
Dear Anna,
I’m a 40-year-old newly divorced career gal, and dipping my toes back into the dating pool after a long marriage. I’m not looking for anything super serious just yet, but I also don’t want to waste time on people who aren’t genuinely interested or who have wildly different values or goals than I do. The idea of endless dates ...Read more
These photos don't belong in your profile
As anyone who's swiped on Tinder, Hinge or Bumble can attest, some of the photos our eyes come across, well, leave a lot to be desired. In fact, the photos you choose can make or break your profile before someone even reads your bio (which will obviously be well-crafted if you’ve been taking my advice!).
In my 13+ years of helping people with...Read more
Is dining with strangers the cure for loneliness? These people think so, thanks to a new app
PHILADELPHIA — On a Wednesday night around 7, Morgan Steffy arrived at El Rey in Philadelphia's Center City area, following directions from an app she had downloaded two months ago. The app directed the 30-year-old West Philly software engineer to sit at Table 2, where she joined a Temple University doctor, a nomad who works in health care ...Read more
Falling Outside the Lines of Purity
We all want consistency, clarity, and conviction from leaders and movements we support. But in practice, chasing ideological purity can become a trap, leaving no room for the ambiguity, complexity, and compassion a functioning society needs. Ideological purity assumes people and ideas are simple, that we can shove ourselves into neat boxes of "...Read more
Single File: The Wise 30s
Dear Susan: I used to only date men who were taller than me. But now I'm engaged to someone almost 3 inches shorter than I am, and honestly, he's such a great person I couldn't care less. (From the internet)
Dear Blogger: At last, good sense makes a comeback! (I don't know your age, but I'll bet my shiny new printer you're upwards of 30. That ...Read more
Ask Anna: Forget red flags -- here are 5 green flags of a supportive partner
Dear Anna,
I'm a 41-year-old woman, just getting back into dating after an eight-year relationship, which ended a little over a year ago. In the past, I’ve spent so much energy looking out for red flags that I realize I’ve never really paid attention to the good signs — the green flags. As I’m starting to date again, I want to approach ...Read more
Feeling stuck in dating
A few years ago, I received this emotional question from a former client. I appreciated how she allowed herself to express her feelings in such a raw manner and thought it might be applicable to other readers.
“I’m really struggling with my love life lately. Over the weekend, my family got together for my mom’s birthday, and both of my ...Read more
Ask Amy: Exiting with some well-worn wisdom
Dear Readers: Since announcing my departure from writing this syndicated column, I have heard from scores of people across various platforms, thanking me for more than two decades of offering advice and wishing me well in my “retirement.” I am very touched and grateful for this outpouring of support.
The thing is – I don’t think of ...Read more