Life Advice
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Asking Eric: Husband’s ex’s ashes are still in the garage
Dear Eric: I have been married to my husband for 16 years and we have a wonderful, blended family. Our kids are now grown (ages 26-35). My husband’s first wife died of a drug overdose/swimming accident 23 years ago. They were in the process of a divorce at the time.
Her ashes are in a box in our garage. Many times, over the years, they were ...Read more
As Expenses Mount, Bridesmaid Contemplates Dropping Out
DEAR HARRIETTE: What do you do if you're a bridesmaid, but the wedding expenses are mounting? This is my best friend's wedding, and I'd hate to miss out, but some of these things are too demanding: engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, dress, hair, makeup, alterations and more. The list of events and expenses just keeps growing. ...Read more
Citing Sources In Conversation
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When sharing stories, anecdotes or facts in conversation, I usually cite my source. For example, I might say, "I recently read an op-ed in (newspaper) by (author) where they said ..."
But in my attempt to give credit where credit is due, I feel that I'm coming off as elitist and/or condescending. What is your opinion on when ...Read more
Is Unsolicited Parenting Advice Ever OK?
Dear Annie: I believe it's a bad idea for people to share their unsolicited opinions on other people's parenting, especially not someone like me, who is young, single, childless and barely knows what to do with my own life.
Still, I can't help but worry about my brother's lifestyle. His house is a mess, and not just a "child lives here" kind ...Read more
Family Refuses To Help Relative Who Once Helped Them
DEAR ABBY: Eight years ago, my wife's nephew needed a car. His parents had poor credit at that time. I took him to a car dealer, where he found a car, and I didn't hesitate to cosign the loan. He paid the loan off on time.
I am now in financial difficulty, and one possibility for me would be to refinance my car loan. When I suggested the nephew...Read more
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Ask Anna: My coworker-turned-boyfriend won't let me break up with him
Dear Anna,
I've been dating a coworker (we're both in our early 30s) for two months, and for the past month, I've been trying to end things. Every time I attempt to break up, he argues until I'm exhausted and emotionally shut down, then convinces me to stay by promising he'll change or telling me I'm misinterpreting his behavior. Things have ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Asking Eric: Friend complains about politics but does nothing
Dear Eric: I have a friend who I've been friends with for about 10 years. We both share views that lean left. In the past we've shared many dinners discussing the inequities of our country and other political type topics. My friend is constantly lamenting about how unfair our society is and is super empathetic to the plight of the disadvantaged,...Read more
Co-Worker Shares Too Much On The Job
DEAR HARRIETTE: I need help dealing with a co-worker who shares way too much about their personal life. Every day at work, they corner me with long-winded stories about their relationship drama, family conflicts, financial struggles and even embarrassing medical details. At first, I listened out of politeness, but now it's become overwhelming. I...Read more
Jet-Setting Volunteer Takes Freebies For Herself
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I volunteer for an organization that provides services for homeless people. We provide items such as clothes, winter coats, shoes, infant formula, diapers and personal hygiene kits -- and also help with transportation (such as bus passes) and assistance with getting an apartment. Once someone is housed, we provide "startup ...Read more
Managing Money With Mother-in-Law
Dear Annie: My mother-in-law recently moved in with us after a very (thankfully) minor stroke. She has NO savings, and up until that point she was working sporadically just to keep a roof over her head and food in her belly.
If I may backtrack back to the no savings ... For the past 30 years, she has literally laid in bed and watched TV all ...Read more
Bride Wants Mother And Aunt To Walk Her Down The Aisle
DEAR ABBY: My 25-year-old niece is getting married in four months. Five years ago, she lost her father in a tragic accident while her parents were on vacation. Since that time, she has come out as gay and grown closer to me than to her mom (my sister).
I was always close to my sister and both of her daughters while they were growing up and ...Read more
Single File: Reader Mail
DEAR SUSAN: Hopefully by now you've gotten some email in support of your position on the engagement ring issue. This widely and fervently held and programmed belief is just one more symptom of the stranglehold marketing has on our culture, overriding all. -- Mike
DEAR MIKE: You and I may be the only humanoids on planet Earth who see the ring ...Read more
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The reason we can't move past the person we can't have
The story starts the same. You like someone. They like you. You continue liking this person. This person stops liking you (or never did?) and pulls back. You like this person more. This person, feeling smothered, continues to pull back. You continue to obsess more.
Why is this, though? Why should a person’s feelings actually grow the less and...Read more
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Asking Eric: Facing a terminal illness, woman battles loneliness
Dear Eric: I am a 47-year-old woman and was diagnosed with a rare terminal illness three years ago after several years of investigations. I have a rough time frame of six to 10 years. I have no family and no close friends. The only person I see is my neighbor who is also my cleaner, but that’s the only time I see her. I am totally alone, ...Read more
Customer Wants To Break Up With Hairstylist
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been going to the same hairstylist for years, and while she's always been kind and reliable, I've started to feel like her work just isn't what I want anymore. The haircuts and color never turn out quite right, and I find myself walking out of appointments feeling disappointed more often than not. I know I should probably ...Read more
Grandma Scouts Our House For Valuables
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a communication issue with my nieces and nephews, who are about to be college-age. They are my brother-in-law's kids. Their grandmother (my partner's mother) feeds them an inventory of our possessions, encouraging them to ask us for these items.
She has suggested that the nieces and nephews beg for my jewelry and ...Read more
Asking My Husband for Financial Transparency
Dear Annie: I've been married for over 20 years, and my husband has always handled our finances. I trusted him to take care of everything, but recently, I've started to feel uneasy. When I ask about our savings, bills or retirement plans, he either brushes me off or gives vague answers. I don't know if he's hiding something or if he just doesn...Read more
Husband's Drug Habit And Lies Push Wife Toward The Exit
DEAR ABBY: I've been married to my husband for 30 years. For the past five years, I've noticed that he is acting a little different. He's lost a lot of weight. I found out he's been smoking drugs. He had this problem years ago, and I thought we had it beat. But now I'm getting the impression that maybe you can't ever beat it.
My daughter gave ...Read more
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'Choose each other every day': Boise LGBTQ+ couple contends with the Idaho Legislature
BOISE, Idaho — While visiting Flying M Coffee, one of their favorite downtown Boise haunts, Chelsea Gaona-Lincoln pretended to go to the gift shop before returning to her table with Van Beechler-Lincoln carrying a personalized flipbook that told the story of their love. On the table between them was a ship in a bottle that Van’s friend had ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Retirement is looming, now come the cold feet
Dear Eric: I will turn 65 in a few months and have announced my plans to retire. I have a long list of things I want to do, and after 50 years of employment and saving, I am well situated for these next years. At least, that is what my financial adviser and balance sheets tell me.
I really yearn for more discretionary time and my physical ...Read more