One day in class, Richard Feynman was talking about angular momentum. He described rotation matrices and mentioned that they did not commute. He said that Sir William Hamilton discovered noncommutivity one night when he was taking a walk in his garden with Lady Hamilton. As they sat down on a bench, there was a moment of passion. It was then ...Read more

Working for a Judge in a common pleas court, I saw many criminal defendants. One man facing drug charges proved unusually helpful.

To determine the exact quantity of the illegal substance allegedly sold, the judge asked the prosecutor how many grams there are in an ounce.

As both attorneys checked their notes, the defendant, who had not yet ...Read more

"When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least."

"You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old."

A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business.

As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to put his hands ...Read more

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.

"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

"The...Read more

A researcher arrives in Borneo to gather data for his thesis. Accompanied by his trusty guide, he seeks out a very remote locale for researching the mating behavior of the giant rat of Sumatra.

Around dusk of the first day, he's sitting by the campfire with his guide when in the distance, he hears tribal drums. They get louder. The guide ...Read more

If you remember the original Hollywood Squares and its comics, these tidbits may bring tears of joy to your eyes!

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady ...Read more

A man and woman were having marriage problems, and decided to end their union after a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple went to court to finalize their break-up.

The judge asked the husband, "What has brought you to this point, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?"

The husband said,...Read more

At a nursing home in Florida, a group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their aches and pains.

"My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.

"I know what you mean. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another.

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a ...Read more

1. You attend a weekly coupon club.

2. You've been driving on the spare tire for over three months.

3. Fast food is your idea of fine dining.

4. You spend more time counting change during a single week than you spend at church.

5. You're outraged when the price of a can of soda goes up a nickel.

6. You haven't purchased a name brand product...Read more

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger stands in the pouring down rain.

"Can you give me a push?" he asks while hanging onto the door frame.

"Not a chance" says the husband -- "It's 3 o'clock in the morning!". He slams the door ...Read more

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear ...Read more