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Entertainment

Mike Lindell & MyStore: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (Web Exclusive)

Humor / Jokes /

John Oliver talks about Mike Lindell, the online marketplace that is his mesmerizingly bizarre version of Amazon dot com, and why you shouldn’t argue with the wind.

Superman HISHE - Where's the Dog

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A Superman HISHE cartoon. The Man of Steel is looking for Krypto but finds he has to battle more than just Lex Luthor this summer.

"The Tonight Show" Premiere Cold Open | The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien

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(Original Air Date: 6/1/09) Conan heads cross country for his "Tonight Show" premiere.

Ryan Gosling Asks Stephen A Lord Of The Rings Question From His Mom

Humor / Jokes /

For the first time in history, Stephen gets stumped by a LOTR question. Alert the Council of Elrond!

British Stars on Which American Accent Is Hardest to Do | Vanity Fair

Humor / Jokes /

We quiz the stars of our British Portfolio on their favorite royals, American accents, and which English traditions need to finally cross the pond. Featuring Tom Hiddleston, James McAvoy, Judi Dench, Emily Blunt, Matthew Goode, Felicity Jones and more.

New York City Council Campaign - SNL

Humor / Jokes /

A commercial advertises Harvey Epstein’s (John Mulaney) campaign for his city council election run.

Airline Rage

Humor / Jokes /

As a guy takes his seat on an airplane, he is surprised to find a parrot strapped in next to him. After taking off, the flight attendant comes around to serve the passengers on the plane. The guy asks the flight attendant for a coffee and the parrot squawks: "And get ME a coke...NOW!"

The flight attendant, flustered by the parrot's attitude, ...Read more

Bidding Higher

Humor / Jokes /

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.

Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last!

As he was paying for the parrot, he...Read more

Philosophy and the Talented Doggie

Humor / Jokes /

An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive.

For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a ...Read more

Three Vampires in a Bar

Humor / Jokes /

Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."

The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."

The waitress turns to the third vampire ...Read more

Yummy Fruit

Humor / Jokes /

A women's lib speaker was addressing a large group and said "Where would man be today if it were not for woman?"

She paused a moment and looked around the room. "I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?"

From the back of the room came a voice, "He'd be in the Garden of Eden eating strawberries."

North vs. South

Humor / Jokes /

The North has coffee houses,
The South has Waffle Houses

The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Lee Press-on Nails

The North has double last names,
The South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races...Read more

Seasoned Blind Date

Humor / Jokes /

"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her room-mate.

"Terrible!" the room-mate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."

"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"

"He was the original owner!"

Blonde Road Test

Humor / Jokes /

A blonde is taking the driving portion of her driver's license exam.

She handles most of the maneuvers quite well. She has a little trouble parallel parking, however, and winds up a couple of feet from the curb.

"Could you get a little closer?" the examiner asks.

The blonde then unbuckles her seat belt and slides over toward the examiner.

"...Read more

Luggage

Humor / Jokes /

Mr. Smith was a traveling salesman and frequent flyer, so he was always very, VERY careful to mark his luggage so that no one would mistakenly take his bags. He always did this with bright ribbons and tape, so he was quite surprised to see his bags grabbed by a well dressed man when he got to the luggage carousel.

Mr. Smith walked over ...Read more

Information

Humor / Jokes /

The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex.

The personnel office sent this reply...

"Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."

New Salesman pt. 3

Humor / Jokes /

... continued from above

The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook.

"Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast,

"So I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I ...Read more

Passing An Exam

Humor / Jokes /

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, ...Read more

Military Time

Humor / Jokes /

My wife never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she called the orderly room to speak with me. The person who answered told her to call me at the extension in the band rehearsal hall.

"He can be reached at 4700, Ma'am," the soldier advised.

With a sigh of exasperation, my wife responded, "And just what time is that?"

Modern Medicine

Humor / Jokes /

Modern medicine has come up with some great new stuff to make life easier ...:

St. Mom's Wort -- Plant extract that treats Mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

Empty Nestrogen -- Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how ...Read more

 

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