ArcaMax

Today, let's weed our grammatical garden.

Betty Lundy of West Point, Mississippi, wonders how to say that her son removed weeds yesterday with a Weed Eater. Should she say, "he weed eated the lawn," or "he weed ate the lawn"? ("Weed Eater" is a trademark for a line of lawn care equipment, but, like "kleenex" and "band-aid," it has become a generic term for a certain type of product.)

I'd choose "weed eated." When you turn a noun into a verb and use the irregular past tense of the verb (in this case "ate"), you run the risk of obscuring the original noun ("Weed Eater").

Thus, he "snow blowed" the driveway, "not snow blew"; he "flame throwered the truck," not "flame threw"; he "salad shooted" the lettuce, not "salad shot." ("Salad Shooter" is also a trademark. Can you tell that my attorney vetted this column?)

Likewise, the batter "flied" out, not "flew" out. Did he or she have wings? And the noun "babysitter" is perhaps better preserved by the past tense "babysitted," though many people say "babysat."

Speaking of kids, is anyone as annoyed as I am over the ubiquitous use of "kiddo" and "kiddos" to refer to children? I cringe because it sounds so cutesy and affected, as if the person thinks the simple term "kids" is too proletarian or common.

Even worse, people are now beginning to refer to their canine pets as "doggos." Grrrrrr...

Several readers have complained about sportscasters' frequent use of the historical present -- that is, describing a past event in the present tense.

A play-by-play announcer, for instance, might refer to a catch earlier in the game this way: "Imagine if Caballero does not make that play," meaning "Imagine if Caballero had not made that play."

True, writers and speakers hoping to enliven stories of past events often utilize the historical present, e.g., "Babe Ruth steps to the plate and points to the bleachers."

But I suspect sportscasters' use of the present tense is often a cagey way of avoiding the perils of the past perfect tense. The announcer wonders, "Should I say 'Imagine if Caballero did not make that play'? Or 'had not have made that play'? or 'have not had made that play?'"

Lost in the thicket of these erroneous choices, they simply use the present tense: "if he does not make that play."

Finally, other readers have written to poke fun at TV commercial slogans that say, "Nothing is better than (insert name of a pain-relief medication here)."

Quips reader Hal Davis of Detroit, "That's why I take nothing!"

========

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites your language sightings. His book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to info@creators.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COM

Copyright 2025 Creators Syndicate Inc.