ArcaMax

The Wisconsin homeowner couldn’t have been nicer. Yes, he loved young children, he said, (mine were one and three at the time). Yes, there was plenty of space for them to run around. And his house was only a couple hours from where we lived in Chicago. It was October 1987.

I was a reporter for the Chicago Tribune then, and the travel editor had asked if I could do a story on an affordable weekend getaway with young kids.

I wasn’t a travel writer; I covered national news, in fact. But a free weekend? “Why not?” my husband said.

We set off in high spirits that ended as soon as we arrived. The owner didn’t like my toddler’s sticky hands; he eyed my 3-year-old son warily as he ran around after being strapped in a safety seat for a long time (a long time for him, anyway).

Things went from bad to worse as the owner proudly showed us around the property, including his pond. My son eyed the man’s kitty and gave him a gentle push into the water.

“He wanted to swim,” the 3-year-old declared.

The owner exploded, scaring the kids, scaring us because he expected us to spank my son soundly. When we refused, he ordered us to leave.

So back in the car we went, returning to Chicago on a rainy Friday night, stunned at what had happened.

I did write a story about our experience, which had a lot of resonance for young families like ours who had traveled widely BK (before kids) and were trying to figure out how they could continue to do so with little ones who weren’t always perfect angels.

That was the first Taking the Kids column – nearly 40 years ago, before we could read online reviews, before umpteen blogs and social media posts would weigh in with advice or perhaps condemnation, before I had a website or wrote a series of Kid’s Guides for traveling kids and their parents.

Maybe it was easier then as we just blundered ahead. Most of our parents hadn’t traveled widely with us, after all; grandparents weren’t taking the whole family on cruises to Alaska or to far-flung locales like Africa. We were learning by doing.

It was trial and error. I was always nervous our kids (by then we had three) would misbehave at the fancy resort where my husband attended an annual conference. Luckily, the Big Boss was there with his less-then-perfectly-behaved kids too. These days, of course, resorts like that one boast organized kids’ activities.

I remember the relief when the kids were old enough for room service and we could share an adult meal at the hotel. They crashed our dinner in time for dessert.

There were plenty of missteps – camping trips that got rained out (better to leave and get a hotel), illnesses that derailed ski trips, a trip to Cape Cod when we forgot one child’s suitcase (all she needed immediately was a bathing suit) and once even a robbery at a resort in Australia when my 12-year-old was asleep upstairs. Scary! We left the next day.

Then, of course, there were family gatherings where everyone didn’t get along. Different travel styles … different parenting styles. I learned a lot from those trips. Extended families aren’t always ideal travel companions.

Certainly, travel with kids has changed dramatically. Restaurants offer healthier options for kids, though they still might prefer mac and cheese. Adventure trips now boast of their family itineraries. I’ve met kids traveling with their families around the world, even in Antarctica. On a cruise ship in Japan, the teens and tweens declared they would rather hang out with their new friends than go sightseeing with their parents.

When else would they have the chance to make friends with so many kids from different countries?

As my crew grew up, traveling together became more complicated. They didn’t necessarily want to go where or when I suggested. Would I include boyfriends and girlfriends? (We did!) Could I promise not to embarrass them?

Now, we have come full circle. Grown kids want to travel with their parents, if they foot the bill. Trips with grandchildren are increasingly popular, though boomers who don’t have kids with them complain about other people’s children in restaurants and hotels.

As you travel this summer, with kids or without, remember how challenging family travel can be. That’s something that certainly hasn’t changed.

Build plenty of time for naps and just doing nothing. If you are traveling with extended family, remember you don’t have to be in lockstep all the time.

Parents, for their part, must recognize that not everyone thinks their children (or their pets) are adorable. Remind kids to use their “indoor voices” in hotels and museums. If you are heading to restaurants, choose noisy ones so rambunctious kids won’t disrupt anyone’s dinner. Go early (happy-hour meals will save money) and ask if the kids can be served first. Pick places with outdoor seating so the kids can run around. Picnics are always a good option, especially when there are so many farmers’ markets to choose from this season.

Whether you are at a theme park, resort pool or museum, leave when the kids have had enough and the whining starts. There’s no reasoning with a tired, hungry preschooler. Ditto for a bored tween or teen. Yes, it’s unfortunate the tickets were expensive, but isn’t it better to quit while you are ahead?

Whatever the circumstances, don’t get frustrated and yell at the kids. I’ve seen that more times than I can count. There will be another day … and another trip.

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(For more Taking the Kids, visit www.takingthekids.com and also follow TakingTheKids on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram where Eileen Ogintz welcomes your questions and comments. The fourth edition of The Kid’s Guide to New York City and the third edition of The Kid’s Guide to Washington D.C. are the latest in a series of 14 books for kid travelers published by Eileen.)

©2025 Eileen Ogintz. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

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