My Pet World: Helping anxious dogs learn to feel safe again

Dear Cathy,

Five months ago we adopted a two-year-old year rescue that looks to be a German Pinscher and Dachshund mix. The veterinarian feels he was abused but has adjusted fairly well living with us.

The problem is he gets anxious and barks and snaps when my adult son comes to visit. My son comes over about three times a week. My son has tried ignoring him, but the dog's eyes get big and he sometimes snaps at him when he walks by. The first day we had the dog my son picked him up because he didn't want to come in the house. We have since discovered he doesn't like to be picked up. Can you help?

— Jim, Portland, Connecticut

Dear Jim,

When a dog has a history of abuse, reactions like barking, snapping, and wide, fearful eyes are often signs of anxiety rather than aggression, especially when those reactions are tied to one specific person or situation. In your dog’s case, being picked up on that first day likely created a lasting association between your son and a very uncomfortable experience.

Over-the-counter calming chews can help take the edge off anxiety, and canine pheromones, whether in a collar, plug-in diffuser, or spray, can create a more reassuring environment. Having your son lightly spray a pheromone product on his shoes or clothing while visiting may help reduce your dog’s stress response.

Just as important, ask your son to move slowly, avoid direct eye contact, and let the dog choose when and how to approach. No reaching, no talking to him – simply existing calmly in the same space can be very powerful.

Pair your son’s presence with good things by tossing high-value treats on the floor when he arrives, without asking anything of the dog in return. Over time, this helps your dog learn that your son predicts safety and rewards, not pressure or fear. Progress may be slow, but patience helps dogs relearn that the world—and the people in it—can be trusted.

Dear Cathy,

I read your Baltimore Sun column about managing aggressive dogs and wanted to share our experience. Years ago, we rescued an 18-month-old Yorkie/Lhasa mix named Bailey while already owning a larger dog.

From the beginning, Bailey showed serious biting behavior toward my husband and me and was aggressive with our other dog around food. One bite led to cellulitis and a report to the health department.

We were fortunate to find a trainer willing to work with us, though even she was startled when Bailey tried to bite her during a session. He couldn’t tolerate a collar and required sedation for grooming. Our veterinarian suggested a behavioral evaluation, but we had difficulty finding one and continued with training instead.

Bailey lived with extreme anxiety, likely linked to past abuse, especially involving men. With our trainer’s help, we learned his triggers and how to manage them safely. We considered euthanasia many times, but thanks to that support, Bailey remained part of our family for 12 years. I just wanted to share that story.

— Denise, Baltimore, Maryland

Dear Denise,

Thank you for sharing Bailey’s story. Living with a dog who has serious anxiety and biting behaviors is emotionally exhausting, isolating, and often misunderstood, and your dedication to Bailey is truly remarkable.

You didn’t ignore the risks or the reality of the situation, but you also didn’t give up when the path forward was hard or unclear. Instead, you sought help, learned his triggers, and made thoughtful, compassionate decisions that kept both people and pets safe.

There are no simple answers when it comes to behavior challenges. Sometimes success doesn’t look like a “fixed” dog, it looks like management, patience, and giving an animal the best life possible within their limits. Bailey was lucky to have advocates who saw him for who he was, not just for his behavior.

As we ring in the New Year, it’s important to remember that fireworks can be frightening for pets. Loud booms, flashing lights, and unfamiliar smells can trigger anxiety, causing dogs and cats to hide, pace, or try to escape.

Before celebrations begin, bring pets indoors, close windows and curtains, and create a quiet, comfortable space with familiar bedding or toys, while playing soft music or the TV, which can help mask the noise.

If your pet is mildly sensitive to sound, an over-the-counter calming chew may be all that’s needed. For pets who are highly noise-sensitive, anxiety clothing that fits snugly can help, along with medication (talk to your vet about it), which can ensure the new year starts safely for everyone.

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(Cathy M. Rosenthal is a longtime animal advocate, author, columnist and pet expert who has more than 25 years in the animal welfare field. Send your pet questions, stories and tips to cathy@petpundit.com. Please include your name, city, and state. You can follow her @cathymrosenthal.)