ArcaMax

Q: We want to help our kids learn how to handle money in practical ways. Do you have any suggestions?

Jim: I think many parents overlook a key financial application: paying for extracurricular activities. We all know these things can take a big bite out of the family budget. But we're usually happy to make that sacrifice because we know the importance of those opportunities. Still, I wonder if we're doing our children a disservice by just handing over the cash.

Part of our job as parents is to instill a strong work ethic in our children. It's never too early to guide them toward age-appropriate projects that nurture lifelong skills and have financial returns. After all, when kids learn the value of a dollar, they develop an appreciation for the effort that goes into earning one. So, if we choose to have our children cover at least part of the cost of sports, lessons or camps, they're literally more invested in the process -- and they'll probably get more out of the overall experience.

The best idea for a money-making project is one that fits your child's age, temperament and skills. Research ideas together, then encourage and support them along the way. Maybe it's walking dogs, making jewelry or offering tech support for smartphone-challenged adults. It could be the classic lemonade stand by the curb. If one idea doesn't work, don't be afraid to change course (that's Business 101). In the end, your children will reach some immediate goals while gaining valuable experience and a sense of accomplishment. But more importantly, you'll help them realize it's possible to find work they love -- and that has lasting effect.

Q: Throughout our 15-year marriage, my spouse and I have both done things requiring significant forgiveness. We want to start fresh. How can we restore trust in our relationship?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: When walls of suspicion and bitterness in your relationship have built up over years, you can't expect to tear them down in a day or two. Restoring trust takes significant time and effort.

Trust is something that's earned. It can be broken pretty quickly, but the rebuilding process is generally lengthy. This is especially true when the offenses were really hurtful and/or repeated multiple times. When you've been wounded, it's difficult to trust again until you can see tangible evidence of change. In this case, since you've both been at fault, you need to work together to identify the things you each need to demonstrate going forward. Be realistic; you should each be able to reasonably expect from your partner:

-- Willingness to take personal responsibility without shifting blame or being evasive

-- Determination to develop a plan to prevent further offenses

-- Active commitment to seek counseling -- individually if necessary, but definitely together

Forgiveness is also an important part of the healing process. But this concept is often misunderstood. Forgiveness is NOT:

-- Excusing or condoning the offense

-- Forgetting past injustices

-- Justifying or minimizing negative behavior

-- Immediately trusting the offender again

Instead, true forgiveness is:

-- Letting go of unhealthy anger (bitterness, the silent treatment, or revenge)

-- Making a commitment to work through the issues together to identify and resolve the root causes of the problem

-- Actively rebuilding the relationship on a foundation of trust

I strongly encourage you and your spouse to discuss these concepts with a certified professional therapist. You can start with our staff counselors here at Focus on the Family by calling 855-771-HELP (4357).

========

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2025 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.