Answer Angel: Black-tie confusion

Dear Answer Angel Ellen: I am invited to a black-tie wedding.

Can I wear a dark suit to this or do I need a tuxedo? If I wear a tuxedo, do I need a cummerbund? If I wear the tuxedo, do I need tuxedo pants or can I wear black pants? If I wear a suit, what style tie is in: wide, slim or medium?

--George D.

Dear George: If the wedding is black-tie, that customarily means a traditional black tuxedo with all the trimmings. A visit to any tuxedo rental place will outfit you with everything you need and that means the suit (usually with satin lapels on the jacket and a satin or grosgrain stripe down the pants leg), a black bow tie, a crisp white shirt (usually with cufflinks), black shoes and, yes, a cummerbund or waistcoat to cover the pants waist, with the advantage of also minimizing the stomach area.

My best guess is that some men will ignore this and show up in black or even blue business suits with a traditional tie. That isn’t actually “black-tie” but they’ll do it anyhow. I don’t recommend it but they won’t kick you out of the reception if you go that route.

All of the above is written with an asterisk (*) because fashion terms are mutating. A more “casual” black-tie event (this, by the way, is a contradiction since “black-tie” by definition is formal dress wear) would mean a dark suit and a white shirt and muted tie.

Celebrities at black-tie events — like the Oscars -- wear all sorts of getups, with gym shoes, wild jewelry and suits in every imaginable color, sometimes with no shirt at all. If you don’t want to stick out or are not a celebrity, stick with tradition, George.

Dear Answer Angel Ellen: My wife is always cold when sleeping in the winter. She loves flannel sheets because they aren’t cold to the touch when you’re first getting in them, like traditional sheets or silk sheets. However, she doesn’t like that the flannel sheets “grab” her PJs and they get twisted up during sleep. She tried silk PJs, but they aren’t warm enough. I tried finding flannel-lined silk PJs, but have not been successful.

Do you or your readers have any ideas of where I could find flannel-lined silk PJs? P.S.: She tried a down comforter, but got too hot under that.

--Mike H.

Dear Mike: I wasn’t very optimistic when I started my quest for the perfect PJs for your wife. But I located a few options that might work.

The Vermont Country Store (vermontcountrystore.com) has satin pajamas (not silk like you asked for) lined in “warm and cozy brushed cotton” ($69.95 and up). Amazon has fleece/plush polyester and cotton/polyester PJs that might be an option, but your wife would have to be the judge about the bunching issue. They start at $25.

Angelic Readers 1

Many readers offered similar solutions to the problem of putting on turtlenecks and clothes with small neck openings without disrupting hair and makeup. Sandi O. recommends a silky scarf over face and head when struggling to preserve her ‘do when putting on a turtleneck: ”It may have mashed the hairdo slightly but basically left it intact.” Pat S. uses a large silky scarf placed over her head and face then gently pulls on her top: “I’ve used this method for years to save my hairdo and to keep makeup off my clothes.” Anna M. recommends a scarf or even a dry-cleaning bag. Others with the scarf tip include Candi, Kathy H., Deanna H. and Lynn K.

Angelic Readers 2

Val S. writes: “For your reader Vanessa D. who was disappointed when her elderly aunt was clearly not thrilled with Vanessa’s gift of a rare antique wine glass —identical to a treasured one that her aunt had broken — the key word is that the recipient is ‘elderly.’ I am in my mid 70s and at the point where I am trying to pass on the items. Some have been in the family for decades, handed down from person to person. Her aunt might have been happier with an outing to a favorite venue for lunch or dinner and time spent together.”