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Q: We've met at Monsignor Hartman’s events and you're an inspirational man. Your commitment and love for faith is contagious. I'm in a health crisis. I have lymphoma that's spread to my chest. The effects of chemotherapy, nausea, fatigue, dizziness, diarrhea and sickness have been overbearing. I have a handgun in a lockbox and have considered ending everything; however, I was raised Catholic. I'm afraid I might not be forgiven. I've never had mental health problems and am rational. I'm wondering if my thoughts are acceptable. I do have a family. Thank you, sir. – (From K)

A: Dear K, before I offer a single word of solace or advice let me plead with you to write down these three numbers on a piece of paper and keep that paper with you wherever you go. The numbers are 988. When you dial these three numbers you will be connected to a suicide hot line that is staffed 24/7 by trained mental health professionals who can begin a long-term connection with you. Do this, I pray. Do this now.

As for me, I thank you for your kind words and I want you to know that you will be in my prayers daily. This will be my prayer for you, “Dear God of healing and compassion, heal, dear K, and during his healing, help him to realize that there will not be one single day when his burdens exceed his blessings.”

If there are moments when rational thought helps you to sort out your sufferings, let me encourage you to consider the following good reasons not to kill yourself:

Suicide prevents you from changing your mind. There will be mornings when you rise to a new day and are filled with awe and love and hope. Suicide prevents you from ever arriving at such a day.

Suicide takes control of a body that is owned by God. If you consider that God made us and indeed made everything, then everything we have, including our own lives, is just on loan from God. We have no right to take what we do not own.

Suicide prevents you from understanding that all life is holy. Our lives are sacred because they are a creation of God and suicide blocks that understanding. All life is sacred, including yours. No illness reduces that sanctity.

Suicide is a terrible burden to place on our family. Your suicide ends your struggles at the price of increasing theirs. Every day they will be tortured not only by your absence but also by their terrible thoughts that they might have done more to stop you from taking your life. Your suicide does not contract your troubles, it expands them.

Suicide prevents you from giving healing help to others who are in your position of despair now. Just think how valuable your experience with suffering can be to others who suffer if you find a way to hope. You can say to each of them, “I know what you are going through and I will be glad to talk to you.” God is not through with you here.

Suicide violates the teaching of the Catholic Church. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches about the mortal sin of suicide:

“Everyone is responsible for his life before God who has given it to him. It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life. We are obliged to accept life gratefully and preserve it for his honor and the salvation of our souls. We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. It is not ours to dispose of (2280). Also, suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. It likewise offends love of neighbor because it unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation and other human societies to which we continue to have obligations. Suicide is contrary to love for the living God (2281).”

Judaism and Islam also teach that suicide is a violation of God’s will. There was a long debate about whether victims of suicide can be buried in sacred ground but compassion has won out.

The Catechism teaches Catholics that“We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives (2283).”

God bless you in your struggle to find a reason to live. The more reasons you seek, the more you will find.

God bless you, K.

(Send ALL QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS to The God Squad via email at godsquadquestion@aol.com. Rabbi Gellman is the author of several books, including “Religion for Dummies,” co-written with Fr. Tom Hartman. Also, the new God Squad podcast is now available.)

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