I get a lot of questions that sound something like, “Can you help me write a profile that attracts the type of person I'm looking for?”

In the most loving way, I say, “No, I can't do that.”

And I don’t answer that way to be dismissive. I answer that way because I genuinely don't know what the person you're looking for … is looking for. So I'm not going to try to game the system to attract a certain type of person who may not even exist. The best, most advantageous, thing I can do is to help you craft a profile that is true to yourself, that shows the things you enjoy, and that shows a little bit of your personality. And then the person who is attracted to it is the person who is supposed to be attracted to it.

When writing your profile, I’ll start by saying that I encourage you to take some time with it. Sometimes, just as an exercise, I’ll ask a client how long it took them to plan their last vacation. Someone recently told me that she took about 20 hours planning her trip to Madrid and Barcelona. I have no doubt the research was worth it, and it was a great trip!

Then, I asked her how long she spent writing her Bumble profile. Her response? Five minutes.

Vacation is fleeting. You go, then you're done. But searching for a partner is not. This might be one of the most important decisions of your life, and people rush through it. As I’ve said before, and will continue to say, most everything in life that's important should take time, energy, work, sometimes money, and thought.

I know that it can be tough to come up with things to share in the profile. How deep should I get? How personal? What if my hobbies are weird? Or unappealing? What if I’m boring?

I have a two tips to help get the creative juices flowing:

'Name Your Five'

A game I like to play with some of my friends is called “Name Your Five.” You have to name five things — nouns, not adjectives — where the combination of these words represents you and nobody else.

For example, my five nouns at this present moment (no judgment, please) are puns/crossword puzzles, Broadway musicals, ping-pong, bourbon, and pushups. If I list those five things, it's pretty clear we're talking about me.

And then you can think, “What is a subcategory of each of these nouns?” I could expand mine to pun competitions, the Thursday New York Times crossword puzzle, Sunday musical matinees, ping-pong tournaments, bourbon cocktails, and, well, pushups (not too much to elaborate on there).

Coming up with these five words and then more specifically drilling down on them is a great start to writing your profile. So, now, if I were answering the “Simple Pleasures” prompt on any of the apps, I could just list:

Puns (making, competing, you name it), ping-pong, puzzles (of the crossword variety) … and apparently alliteration. Plus, Broadway musicals, bourbon cocktails, and pushups.

Even a short answer like this provides people with so much message bait to latch onto and write about.

Five Insightful Questions

This time, rather than listing our five nouns, here are five questions you can ask yourself to pull out the unique things in your life:

1. What is your favorite snack or drink?

2. Where is your happy place?

3. Do you have any guilty pleasures?

4. What do your friends tease you or make fun of you about?

5. What is your “hot take”? Anything you think is overrated? Underrated?

Someone’s answers to these questions might be, in order, Flamin' Hot Cheetos; the beach at Cape May, New Jersey, in the offseason; staying up too late playing Candy Crush; not understanding sarcasm; and travel insurance.

There is so much we can do with these answers. You can also think of:

--A list of things you like or things you’re good at

--Favorite TV shows or quotes

--A few pieces of factual information, like where you’ve lived, etc.

The quirkier and more specific, the better.

So, rather than thinking, “How do I attract a certain person?” I want you to think, “How can I best describe the unique, fun person that I am?”

____

©2026 Tribune Content Agency, LLC