BFF Develops Feelings For Friend's Brother
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have had the same best friend for nearly a decade -- since middle school. Due to the length of our friendship, I have gotten close with her and her family, even going on trips with them. I've noticed lately that I have started to develop feelings for her brother. He's a year younger than us and consistently accompanies us on hangouts and various activities. I sometimes feel like he may be attracted to me, too, but I hesitate to ask -- I mean, he is my best friend's brother! My best friend has fallen out with friends in the past due to them getting romantically involved with her brother, and I would hate for the same to happen to us. Do you have any advice on how to navigate these feelings, or should I suppress them? -- Best Friend's Brother
DEAR BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER: This is a tough one, and clearly your best friend has history with this scenario not working out. That said, when people have feelings for each other, it can be difficult to deny them -- especially if they are constantly spending time together.
If you think the feelings are real, have a frank conversation with your best friend. Tell her what is happening and how conflicted you are feeling. Out of respect for her, tell her that you have not said a word to her brother. You know how sensitive she is about this topic, and you don't want to violate your friendship. At the same time, you are finding it difficult to be around him and not explore your feelings. Hopefully she will respect you for speaking to her first. Next, you have to decide what you will do. It is possible to ignore your feelings, but if you take that route, you may need to distance yourself from him for a while, even if that includes keeping your distance from her.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I think I hate my dad. Growing up, he was constantly in and out of rehab, leaving my sister and me without a present father and my mother having to do everything. Over the past few years, he's sobered up and changed career paths. Now that he's somewhat stable, he thinks he's entitled to the respect of a parent without acting like one. I have moved out; however, my sister is still little and relies on my mom for everything. My dad has missed much of my life, including major milestones, and caused emotional trauma during my formative years, but he acts like it never happened. I can't find it in myself to view him as an authority figure, even as he essentially demands that I do. Do you have any advice on how to repair my relationship with him? -- Father Figure
DEAR FATHER FIGURE: Out of concern for your sister, do your best to remain cordial and respectful to your dad. You can't force him to try to make amends with you, though one day he may realize how important that is. What you can do is speak to him respectfully and focus on your sister, making sure she feels supported. Also, try to forgive your father for having succumbed to his illness, and wish him well now that he is trying to be a better man.
========
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Comments