ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: My roommate works out at 5 a.m. every day, which means that his alarm goes off at 4:30 a.m., and it's been affecting my sleep in a major way. The noise alone is enough to jolt me out of my sleep, and by the time I finally manage to fall back to sleep, it's almost time for me to get up for work.

I've tried everything I can think of to deal with it. I've used earplugs, I've tried white noise machines and I've even changed my sleep schedule in an attempt to go to bed earlier so I can get a solid few hours of rest before the alarm goes off. Nothing is working, and it's affecting my mood, my productivity and even my health.

I don't know how to approach my roommate about this issue. I can't tell him that he can't wake up early to work out -- it's his routine and I don't want to make him feel bad. At the same time, I feel like my right to get a decent night's sleep has been completely compromised. How do I talk to my roommate about this without making him feel like he has to choose between his fitness and my sleep? -- Alarm Off

DEAR ALARM OFF: Speak to your roommate about his alarm. Explain that you think it's great that he has such a rigorous and disciplined workout schedule, but his alarm is disrupting your sleep. Ask him if he can find another way to alert himself to get up. There are silent vibrating alarms that can be worn on the wrist for exactly this purpose. They are said to work for even heavy sleepers.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend keeps inviting me to work events where she's way too busy to interact or catch up with me. To me, it feels like a thoughtless effort. I see her make time for other people outside of work -- quite often, actually. Whenever I bring it up and explain that I wish we could have more personal time outside of her workplace, which, no offense, is really not that interesting to me, she reminds me that she always includes me in everything she has going on.

I recognize that she is making great strides in her career currently, which is why I choose to show up and support her, but it doesn't feel much like friendship anymore. Should I try to be more understanding? Or is it possible that she simply doesn't want to do other activities with me? -- Friends to Associates

DEAR FRIENDS TO ASSOCIATES: Assess the situation. Do you gain any value at all from attending your friend's work events? Do you meet interesting people or make meaningful contacts? Do you help your friend in her career climb? If so, by all means continue to accept her invitations and make the most of the experiences.

Right now, your friend is climbing the ladder of her career and not paying as close attention as you would prefer. Give her grace. Find other friends who can fill the void. Notice over time if she comes back around.

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole

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