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DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter was married this past weekend. She originally invited her maid of honor, "Sophie," without a plus-one because my daughter was unaware of any relationship. Sophie complained and asked for a plus-one so that her boyfriend, Sam (whom my daughter had never met), could attend with her. Sophie's parents were also not invited, and this was intentional.

On the day of the wedding, while my daughter was getting ready, one hour before the ceremony, Sophie said, "I have a surprise for you. Sam can't attend today because of a family emergency." She then opened the door to the hotel room to reveal her mother, "Sherry," standing there. Sophie finished, "... So my mom is here to take his place."

My daughter was put on the spot, and so were my wife and I. Sophie's plus-one was going to be seated with her and the rest of the bridal party, so we had to rearrange the seating and find a spot for Sherry. At that point, we didn't really have a choice in the matter, whether we wanted her there or not, without causing a potential scene.

I personally believe this was the plan by Sophie and her mother all along, once they found out her parents were not invited. To make matters worse, Sophie's mother showed up at the after-party back at the hotel and started telling people who she was -- how she was not invited, even though she was the maid of honor's mother. My wife and I had all we could do to restrain ourselves from throwing her out.

Aside from this one fiasco caused by Sophie and Sherry, the day was beautiful. What do you think of all of this?

GENTLE READER: That it was exceptionally rude. Miss Manners is just grateful that you were able to restrain yourself from ejecting the wedding crasher and otherwise enjoy the day.

But if you would like to exact some passive-aggressive revenge, you might try relentlessly inquiring after Sam and his family emergency.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Both of my husband's brothers came to visit us at the same time. The older brother arrived a few days earlier and chose a guest bedroom to sleep in.

The younger brother, arriving later, didn't like the remaining available bedroom, saying he thought it was haunted. He asked to sleep on the couch, which I refused, assuring him that the room wasn't haunted.

He's no longer speaking to me or my husband. As a good host, should I have let him sleep on the couch?

GENTLE READER: Had your brother-in-law given you a reasonable excuse -- perhaps back pain or another physical issue -- or even made one up, Miss Manners might have been inclined to let him take the couch. The one given seems insultingly ridiculous, although Miss Manners does not know enough about ghosts to say.

In any case, giving you the silent treatment seems extreme -- and will probably come back to haunt him.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2025 Judith Martin

COPYRIGHT 2025 JUDITH MARTIN