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Dear Annie: Am I being too sensitive? My niece's son is getting married this year. I always believed I was close to her family, but when the "save the date" and shower invitations went out, my daughter was not included -- although all the other cousins were.

My daughter rarely attends family functions, so when one of my sisters asked why "Charlotte" wasn't invited, the answer was, "We didn't think she would come." Charlotte is my only daughter, and I feel that the least they could have done was mention this to me beforehand. Instead, I stood at a family gathering and watched invitations being handed to everyone else and their children.

I was deeply hurt. Would it really have been so difficult to send her an invitation? I thought that was the purpose of RSVPs. -- Very Hurt

Dear Very Hurt: You're not wrong to feel stung, but you may be taking this a bit too personally.

Wedding guest lists are often shaped by numbers, budgets and assumptions. Someone decided your daughter's past absences meant she wouldn't attend, and rather than risk an unused seat, they made a quiet choice. It wasn't gracious, but it also wasn't a deliberate slight against you.

That said, your niece could have handled this better. A brief, private explanation would have spared you embarrassment. You're right about that.

My advice is to let it go. Save your energy, and don't turn an awkward decision into a lasting rift.

Dear Annie: I have a friend with whom I shared nearly 20 years as co-workers. Over the last four or five years since our retirement, we've developed a close friendship. Our bond surprised many at work because our personalities are quite different. While we weren't the best co-workers, we became much better friends. Lately, though, I'm questioning the strength of that friendship.

It seems that almost every time we make plans, she cancels. I'd estimate it happens about 80% of the time. Whether it's a casual get-together or a paint-and-sip night (for which I bought her ticket, only to have her cancel), I'm left feeling disappointed. I once asked if she cancels on her other friends, and she told me she doesn't.

Recently, she texted suggesting a day for us to hang out. I was genuinely excited since I had nothing else planned, but then the time was pushed from early to afternoon, and I sensed another cancellation looming.

I lead a busy life and often rearrange my schedule to spend time with her, only to be let down. When I try to talk about how this makes me feel, she gets upset. I'm now considering ending the friendship for my own peace of mind and could really use some guidance. -- Buckeye Buddies

Dear Buckeye Buddies: Occasional cancellations are part of life, but an 80% rate is a pattern -- and one your friend has openly acknowledged.

What matters most isn't why she cancels, but how she responds when you say you're hurt. You can't be the only one rearranging your life to make a relationship work.

Before walking away entirely, try one clear, calm statement: "I value our friendship, but I can't keep making plans that don't happen." Then stop jumping through hoops and see what follows. If nothing changes, you'll have your answer.

Not all friendships are meant to last forever. That doesn't mean you've failed; it means you're choosing to invest your energy where it's returned.

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"Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness" is out now! Annie Lane's third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged -- because forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.