Life Advice
/Health
Feelings First
Dear Annie: Some years ago, I went to a nearby office supply shop, where I saw a local couple looking around. The woman, a local musician, had Alzheimer's, but she seemed to recognize me, so we began a conversation. I don't recall what it was about, but it was the silliest, most illogical and the most fun conversation I've ever had with anyone. ...Read more
Husband's Condescension Pushes Wife to the Edge
Dear Annie: I've been married to my second husband for 38 years. He's a good man, and I'm blessed to have such a wonderful husband and father to our daughter. We've had our ups and downs, but for the most part, he has been a gift from God.
So what's the problem? He is often condescending and patronizing toward me. He frequently interjects a ...Read more
Navigating Changing Friendships
Dear Annie: My friend "Lauren" and I have been close since high school. We used to talk all the time and make plans regularly, but now I'm always the one reaching out. If I don't text or call first, I don't hear from her at all. When we do hang out, things are great, but that's only once every month or so.
I've asked if something is wrong, ...Read more
When Family Oversteps
Dear Annie: I'm struggling with how to handle my mother-in-law, "Karen." My husband, "Jake," and I have been married for five years, and we just had our first baby, "Emily," three months ago.
Since Emily was born, Karen has been over constantly. At first, I appreciated her help, but now it feels like she's taking over. She drops by ...Read more
The Hidden Struggles of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
Dear Annie: Thousands of grandparents and extended family members are stepping in to raise children in today's world, often due to parents struggling with substance abuse. While many of us take on this responsibility out of love and necessity, it comes with its own set of emotional challenges.
As one of those grandparents, I've had to put my ...Read more
Feeling Excluded From My Grandchildren's Lives
Dear Annie: My oldest son is married, and while I have always tried to maintain a good relationship with my daughter-in-law, it's clear that she doesn't like me. Despite this, I love my two grandchildren more than words can express and cherish every moment I get to spend with them.
However, I often feel excluded from their lives, especially ...Read more
Helping Your Husband Be a Better Gift-Giver
Dear Annie: First, I just want to say how much I appreciate your columns! I always enjoy your insights.
Recently, my newspaper ran the column with a letter from "Feeling Undervalued," the woman who was frustrated that her husband didn't buy her small gifts for occasions like Valentine's Day. I thought your advice was great, but I wanted to ...Read more
Dealing With a Difficult Sister-in-Law
Dear Annie: I'm a divorced woman in my late 40s with a child in college, and for the past 2 1/2 years, I've been in a wonderful, loving relationship with a man I'll call "Matt." He and his sister, "Martha," are extremely close -- so close they call themselves "Irish twins." Since she lives far away, I've only met her a couple of times, but let...Read more
Big Kids Aren't Babysitters
Dear Annie: My family lives in a close-knit neighborhood. I'm good friends with two women in particular, "Leslie" and "Tara." Leslie's daughter "Ashley" and my son "Ben," both in sixth grade, have been best friends since first grade. They love to play outside together on nice days. Our friend Tara's son, "Lyle," is in kindergarten and also ...Read more
When Marriage Feels Like Surveillance
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for over 20 years. Recently, he has become increasingly controlling, checking all my movements and whereabouts, even while we are both at home. He checks if I am asleep by pretending to be putting something on the bedside table when he could just ask if I am asleep, for instance.
This has caused ...Read more
Navigating Teen Turmoil
Dear Annie: My girlfriend and I have been together for four years, and most of that time has been great. The last year and half, however, has become quite complicated and strained due to her 14-year-old daughter. I'll call her "Rose."
When her mother and I got together, Rose was 10, and up until about a year or so ago, she was a great kid. ...Read more
Walking on Eggshells: When Control Becomes Abuse
Dear Annie: Lately, I've been struggling with my husband's temper, and I don't know what to do. When things don't go his way -- whether it's something small like dinner plans or something bigger like finances -- he lashes out. He calls me names, belittles me and makes me feel like I'm always in the wrong. I try to keep the peace, but it feels ...Read more
Finding Financial Balance
Dear Annie: Money can be one of the biggest sources of stress in a marriage, and it sounds like some people who write in to you feel more like accountants than equal partners. That's a red flag. A healthy financial arrangement should feel fair, transparent and respectful -- not like you're under a microscope while your husband has free rein.
...Read more
As Luck Would Have It
Dear Readers: In light of St. Patrick's Day, I want to share this story from "Same Boat," who wrote a response recently to share the story of how he reconnected with his fiancee from 28 years ago. With all the twists and turns of life, his story is about as lucky as they get. May your holidays be equally serendipitous!
Dear Annie: Thank you for...Read more
The Value of Appreciation
Dear Annie: For the past several years, I have donated two medical scholarships to the local high school in memory of my mother-in-law. While I have received a couple of thank-you notes from students over the years, most of the time, I hear nothing -- not even a simple acknowledgment from the school.
Because of this lack of appreciation, I am...Read more
Single and Thriving: Readers Weigh In
Dear Readers: Many of you wrote to me in response to "Independent and Irritated." This 65-year-old single woman was struggling with how to reply to people who questioned why she never married despite her older age. So many readers wrote in to share their own similar experiences and suggest some wonderful replies to an invasive and awkward ...Read more
Setting Boundaries with an Overbearing Mother-in-Law
Dear Annie: My husband, "Jake," and I have been married for eight years. We have a 5-year-old son, "Caleb." For the most part, we have a solid marriage, but there's one issue that keeps coming up -- his mother, "Linda."
Linda has always been a little overbearing, but ever since Caleb was born, it's gotten worse. She stops by unannounced at ...Read more
Overwhelmed Wife and a Sister Who Treats Me Like an ATM
Dear Annie: I've been married to my husband, "David," for 12 years. We have two kids, "Ella" (9) and "Lucas" (6). Lately, I've been feeling like I'm doing everything alone. David works long hours as an accountant, and I understand that his job is demanding, but when he gets home, he zones out on his phone or watches TV while I handle dinner, ...Read more
A Mother's Heartache: Reaching Out to My Son
Dear Annie: I'm reaching out with a heavy heart and a mind full of memories. My oldest son, who once called me frequently and with whom I shared countless stories over long phone calls, now seems a stranger. He's married, has two wonderful children and lives out of state. Recently, family drama -- something entirely unrelated to me -- has cast...Read more
Rebuilding Bridge With Brother
Dear Annie: Three years ago, my older brother received a $60,000 settlement, and I believe it changed his perspective on family and our relationship. One day, he offered to loan me $5,000 to either repair my car or put a deposit on a new one. He told me to wait two days, and then he would call me to meet him at the bank.
Up until that point, ...Read more