Parents Should Take A Back Seat At Couples' Nuptials
DEAR ABBY: I felt compelled to write to you after reading the "plight" of the parents of the bride of "Ruined Wedding in New York" (April 23). As someone who's worked in the hospitality field for more than 30 years, I have seen my share of bridezillas and in-laws who behave badly because they blindly believe that all of THEIR wishes and demands should be met (at any cost) on the special day.
One of the very few things I miss about the days of COVID-imposed "micro-weddings" was how JOYFUL couples and attendees were -- because those few who attended were the ones who truly mattered. Everyone was fully appreciative of the true nature of the occasion.
"Ruined's" parents should feel grateful and honored that they raised a successful, independent young woman of integrity who realizes what is of primary importance -- not the gifts, the pageantry, the spending of massive amounts of money -- but celebrating this momentous occasion with those who matter most to them and in a meaningful way. Her parents should apologize for how they have handled this and be thankful if they're still welcome to attend or participate in any way. -- LYNN R. IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LYNN: One hundred percent of the readers who responded to the letter from "Ruined Wedding in New York" agree with us. Your letter put it most succinctly. Weddings belong to the bride and groom, not their parents. Things will turn out better for everyone involved if parents pay attention to what you wrote.
DEAR ABBY: I recently went on vacation and had my cat sitter come by twice a day as she has for the past five years when I travel. For the first time, I also asked a fairly new acquaintance I had met in a reputable spiritual center, and with whom I clicked quickly, to come by to water my plants and garden. I gave each a key. Some precious and costly jewelry has gone missing. These were the only people in my home.
I don't make friends easily, which makes it more painful since I figure my only option is to cut them both completely out of my life, no questions asked, because what could they say? So I will never know and lose two key people. I guess my question is, is there any other way I can get my mind around (or over) this betrayal than to cut them both from my life without a word? -- VICTIM IN FLORIDA
DEAR VICTIM: You state that during the five years your cat sitter came by twice a day while you were traveling, nothing was missing. Now that you have given a key to "a fairly new acquaintance," precious and costly jewelry has gone missing. I see no reason to cut both of these people out of your life, but I do think it would be a good idea to change your locks and find someone else to water your plants. Perhaps the cat sitter would be willing?
P.S. Have you made a police report about the missing jewelry? If you haven't, you should.
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