ArcaMax

Dear Readers: On March 16, I shared a letter from “Mother of Three,” who lost her daughter five years ago and felt unsure about how to respond when people ask, “how many children do you have?” A number of readers wrote in with thoughtful and empathetic suggestions. I’d like to share four with you today.

Dear Eric: I lost my beautiful,...Read more

Dear Eric: I would like to get along better with my niece's wife, and I'm hoping you might offer some strategies.

The wife's a nice person, but she's high maintenance in ways that make whatever group she's in bend to keep her comfortable. The boat tour has to go a certain speed, so she doesn't get queasy. She has to drive whatever car she's in,...Read more

Dear Eric: I am retired after 40 years of teaching at the same institution. Recently,

a former colleague of mine died. I was never close to this woman, but we were in the same department and had to collaborate on many projects and initiatives. Dealing with her was a challenge, but I tried my best to be professional. She was often unpleasant to ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am a 62-year-old woman engaged to a 59-year-old man. He is my best friend. The problem? His 25- and 29-year-old daughters do not work or contribute to the household at all. They stay up all night and play games and sleep all day. Thankfully, I have my own home. I refuse to marry him until these "lumps" move out.

We have been ...Read more

Dear Eric: A woman who works for me dresses in a provocative fashion. We work in a formal professional setting. She wore a black lace dress with cleavage on a Monday and I blurted out “boy, you’re dressed up for a Monday!” Her response was that she had a date that night.

I get complaints from coworkers that her flesh-baring outfits are ...Read more

Dear Eric: I have a friend who I've known since childhood. Our relationship has always been platonic. Through the years we have gone our separate ways but always stayed in touch. I was living in another state when he had and beat cancer.

I've been back in my hometown for a few years now and have spent quite a lot of time with him doing things ...Read more

Dear Eric: It has recently come to light that the father of my goddaughter has been cheating on his wife for almost the entirety of their 30-year marriage. For some reason, the wife has decided to stay with this man. My goddaughter’s destination wedding is coming up soon. I don’t want to be in a room with this man, let alone hug or converse ...Read more

Dear Eric: I have two boys ages 8 and 13. In most cases the sibling rivalry is about the same as any other family.

One late evening, I picked them up at the dance studio and we came home. Everyone was tired (especially ME!) and so they decided to hit the sack. Around 10, I thought I heard muffled whimpering and screeching. Thinking I was just ...Read more

Dear Eric: I love my job but there is another employee there who likes to confide their life stories with me. It makes me upset and uncomfortable. I am a very compassionate person, but these stories are sad and depressing, which upsets my workday.

I try only to listen and not give any feedback. They also have asked for information on how to ...Read more

Dear Eric: Recently, it was “assumed” by my husband’s family that we would host a gathering for some out-of-town relatives. We have a better house for entertaining. Everyone brought a side dish, or dessert. I usually have at least one gathering a year for his family. I’m happy to do it. We have a nice dining room, but our table was not ...Read more

Dear Eric: For more than five years I have been having a single friend and her two kids over to dinner weekly. This started after her philandering, narcissistic husband, who had been having an affair while she was nearing term with a difficult pregnancy and hospitalized, left her for the other woman while my friend was on maternity leave with ...Read more

Dear Eric: My son is married; his wife is the chief breadwinner. They keep their finances separate; he pays half of everything, even though it is a real stretch for him.

After she had the baby, she wanted to return to her "pre-baby weight," so she signed up for this expensive diet plan where all the food comes semi-premade in a box. My son has ...Read more

Dear Eric: Many years ago, I was married to a woman who, after we divorced, admitted she cheated on me with a married man. She asked for forgiveness, and I took her back.

Nevertheless, it didn't work out and, fortunately, we didn't have kids, so it was easy to finally get out of the situation. I'm happily married now, and I hear she is too.

I ...Read more

Dear Eric: My ex-husband and I were on fairly even financial footing when we divorced. Our incomes were similar, and we split the assets almost down the middle. He was a lazy, selfish, philandering husband, but he's a decent dad. Losing that 200 pounds of deadweight has freed me up to focus on advancing my career. My income has doubled, while ...Read more

Dear Eric: My 22-year-old son has met a 36-year-old woman in Brazil on the internet. He has fallen for her and is planning to go there this summer for at least three months.

My husband and I are very worried. He doesn’t speak the language, although he is learning it. He hasn’t traveled by himself before and there are advisories for ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am a 75-year-old professional woman married to a great 74-year-old Ph.D. who works in Pharma and has no desire to retire. We have a very good marriage, but I am struggling with resentment and negativity due to hubby's work situation. We both work from home. His workload has been nonexistent for three and a half months.

His boss ...Read more

Dear Eric: I'm a 78-year-old widow, who has been without a cat for one year now; first time in my life. Is it fair to adopt a cat if I most likely only have one and a half to two and a half more years to live? I do travel as well. I do not have any family, so who would get the cat remains unknown. Maybe back to the adoption group? Is this fair ...Read more

Dear Eric: A lady I know does shopping for Instacart, and occasionally she will post on Facebook photos of homes she has delivered to, adding comments like “look at this cool home I delivered groceries to today!” Isn’t that a huge breach of privacy? Or as an influencer, she will post videos of herself walking around a restaurant or store, ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am a lesbian in my late 60s. Recently I had a dream of a woman I knew back in the ’70s. I was very taken by her; even though I knew I was gay and confused, I married my boyfriend anyway. But she and I and other friends went on coffee breaks for a couple of years, and she always sat across from me. Sometimes I caught her staring at...Read more

Dear Eric: I founded a nonprofit organization that is about to close (for multiple reasons, one being that others are now doing this work). I’m no longer on the board of directors, just a volunteer. A few years ago, we got a very prestigious award for something that was my idea. Can I keep the actual award, or if not, what should we do with it...Read more