Humor
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How To Be Really Annoying, part 1
Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
Drum on every available surface.
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ask 800 operators for dates.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
Continued below...
The Men and the Fools
After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my recruiter what I could expect from jump training.
"Well," he said, "it's three weeks long."
"What else?" I asked.
"The first week they separate the men from the boys," he said. "The second week, they separate the men from the fools."
"And the third week?" I asked.
"The third ...Read more
Frankenstein's Ghost
Frankenstein was sitting in his cell when suddenly through the wall came the ghost of his monster, with a rope round his neck.
Frankenstein said, "Monster, monster, what are you doing here?"
The monster said, "Well, boss, they hanged me this morning so now I've come to meet my maker."
Actual Medical Chart Notes
- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
- The patient has been depressed since she...Read more
Blood Race
The junior officers challenged the senior officers at an Air Force Base in North Caroline to see who would donate the most blood.
After trying several times to locate a vein in the left arm of a young first lieutenant, the medical technician applied a Band-Aid, and then inserted a needle into the right arm, drawing blood this time, and then put...Read more
The Grabber, Donald Trump and The Black Phone 2 | Ethan Hawke's Late Night Interview
Ethan Hawke talks about his terrifying role as The Grabber in Black Phone 2 and sharing the story of Rodgers and Hart in the movie Blue Moon before running some lines for his play with Seth.
Sir Ian McKellen Accidentally Does Another Dame Maggie Smith Impression | The Graham Norton Show
Sir Ian McKellen will be back this week!
Trump In Asia: Showmanship, But No Kim | Signing The TikTok Deal | Drilling Alaska
President Trump is on a field trip to Asia where he’s hoping to get time with Kim Jong Un, plans to meet with China’s President Xi to finalize a deal for TikTok, and announced his plan to open up oil production in the Alaskan wilderness.
Marlon Wayans Has Everyone In Stitches With His Family's Sick Humour | The Jonathan Ross Show
Marlon Wayans joins Jonathan to talk about his new parody film Fifty Shades of Black, growing up in a wild family, and turning hardship into humour. He shares outrageous funeral stories, filming awkward scenes, and how his kids react to his raunchy roles.
Trump Demolishes East Wing of White House, Reveals He Had an MRI & Jimmy Issues Him an IQ Challenge
The World Series is in town between the Dodgers and the Blue Jays, Jimmy went on vacation to Ireland with his whole family last week, people over there are very worried about those of us here in the USA, Trump demolished the East Wing after promising his new ballroom would not in any way affect the structure of the White House, he was in Japan ...Read more
Trump Puppy-Dogs Japan’s New PM and Rants About Magnets to U.S. Troops | The Daily Show
Desi Lydic breaks down Trump’s trip to Japan, which included a shockingly firm handshake from new Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi, decadent gifts to win the president’s heart, and a quick survey for the U.S. Navy about magnets. Plus, Troy Iwata is pretty sure Trump's embarrassing antics in Tokyo are the worst things America has ever done to ...
Who Really Directed Poltergeist?
Who really directed Poltergeist — Steven Spielberg or Tobe Hooper? The Poltergeist director controversy has fueled debate for over forty years, with cast and crew offering conflicting stories about who was actually behind the camera. This video breaks down the full behind-the-scenes story of Poltergeist, from Spielberg’s abandoned alien ...Read more
Trump In Asia: Showmanship, But No Kim | Signing The TikTok Deal | Drilling Alaska
President Trump is on a field trip to Asia where he’s hoping to get time with Kim Jong Un, plans to meet with China’s President Xi to finalize a deal for TikTok, and announced his plan to open up oil production in the Alaskan wilderness.
Trump Whines He’s “Unappreciated” & Self-Soothes with Ballroom and Third-Term Talk | The Daily Show
After Trump echoes a complaint that he's unappreciated by Americans for his "sacrifices," Jon Stewart looks at all the things the president has accomplished without getting proper recognition, like going against protocol to tear down the East Wing of the White House for an ostentatious ballroom, or blowing up Venezuelan boats without due process...Read more
The Ultimate Halloween Moments On The Graham Norton Show!
The Ultimate Halloween Moments On The Graham Norton Show!
Conan O'Brien Pitched Changing Late Night to Nighty Night, Shares His Least Favorite Bits (Extended)
Conan O'Brien talks about Lorne Michaels fighting for him to take over the Late Night desk, some of his least favorite bits his writers would pitch him and how he turned from talk show hosting to podcast hosting.
George RR Martin asks Stephen King: "How do you write so Fast?!"
George RR Martin asks Stephen King: "How do you write so Fast?!"
Five Seconds to Sing with James Corden: Wicked, Hamilton, Cabaret and More! | The Tonight Show
Jimmy and James Corden play a game where they put their musical knowledge to the test by having to sing any song from randomly selected musicals.
Once Upon a Sagging Mattress
"Help!" I cried out meekly.
"Where are you?" asked my husband, looking around the bedroom.
"I'm in here," I responded. "In the mattress."
Truth be told, I wasn't actually IN the mattress, but I was sunk down so low, it looked like I had been swallowed up by the mattress. Our very pricey and well-constructed pillowtop mattress had not held ...Read more
1957...Remember?
The following were some comments made in the year 1957:
(1) "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, its going to be impossible to buy a weeks groceries for $20.00."
(2) "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long when $5,000 will only buy a used one."
(3) "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I...Read more
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