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"The makers of Bowflex have been ordered to pay a $1 million penalty because some people were injured while using the machine. The company was shocked, and said, "You mean, some- body actually used their Bowflex? Nobody uses their Bowflex!" --Conan O'Brien

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"NBC has renewed 'Joey' for another season. And no one could be happier with the decision than Joey's viewer...who called in earlier today." --Craig Ferguson

 

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"It's spring time and that means prom season. Prom brings back so many horrible memories for me. I had to take my cousin to the prom. I don't know who was more embarrassed -- him or me." --Dave Letterman


 

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