ArcaMax

Freud said, "There are no jokes," but whether he said it with a straight face or a gleam in his eye is a detail that's eluded documentation. Today's April Foolin' will touch on truths that catch us off guard. Whether by delight, annoyance or other, surprise is the pulse of life itself -- the unexpected rush is what makes the ride worth taking.

ARIES (March 21-April 19). How exactly does this plane of existence work? Is destiny a puppet master pulling strings, a mathematical equation charting odds, a poem sent to heavenly realms on the neck of a pigeon? Whatever theory you claim, the day will seem to prove it.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Not enjoying the work? It's probably not the task -- it's the gap between what you know and what you need to know. Frustration is just the feeling of skill loading. Stick with it, stay curious, and soon, it'll click.

GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Criticism isn't a sign you should quit. The teacher is more likely to criticize a student with potential than one without. Hang in there with a willingness to try things a few different ways. And remember, teachers make mistakes, too.

CANCER (June 22-July 22). Silk and denim garments both cover you, but one demands delicate care while the other can take a beating. Expensive tastes require sacrifice -- whether in upkeep, exclusivity or sheer effort. The question is: Is the trade worth it?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It's easy to see the flaws of others, but it takes an emotionally mature person to see what's going on in oneself. Perhaps "flaw" isn't the most helpful word -- "adaptation" is better. Everyone is doing their best in this complex obstacle course.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). While most people wait for a reason to dive deep, you've always had the instinct to do it unprompted. No external push, just the steady call of your inner world, ready to measure what you have within. And here you go again ...

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You'll be enriched by the stories and information others share with you. But how do you open the vault? One excellent question is the key. This question will be casual, though it happens to hit where the lock is.

SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Everyone cares what other people think of them to some degree and often will go to great lengths to hide their concerns. Assume people are pretending not to be affected by what very much affects them. Be gentler than the situation requires.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Whether excited or unsettled, it's the unpredictable and raw moments in which real growth and change take root. You can't plan for or control the unknown, but you can roll with it with varying degrees of grace.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Your tenderness is a rare and beautiful gift, best invested where it's most appreciated. Of course, there are those you'll love unconditionally, and in those cases, the love you give is what loves you back, and anything else is a bonus.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Many people have some degree of social anxiety. Even the people who look very much in control could have secret doubts. And absolutely everyone says the wrong thing at times. Don't focus on what went wrong. Just try again.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Taking on too much leads to diminished results in all categories. But how do you rein in the ambition that surges through you? Maybe you don't. Instead of scattering your energy too soon, let the ideas incubate somewhere safe, such as a diary.

TODAY'S BIRTHDAY (April 1). This will be a year of extraordinary determination and focus. Dreams take shape in your mind and you live as though you're already in them. The real world follows this mental blueprint you lay out. More highlights: Status in a social circle, a financial goal realized, and a new chapter in love that offers thrills, tenderness and stability. Aquarius and Virgo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 7, 28, 4, 17 and 1.

CELEBRITY PROFILES: Like an Aries, Susan Boyle has been retraining her voice after health setbacks and is preparing to star in an upcoming documentary and a potential tour. Aries lives by determination, courage and passion. Boyle auditioned for "Britain's Got Talent" in 2009 despite facing initial skepticism due to her appearance. She continued to pursue a career in music later in life, releasing one hit album after another and touring all over the world, captivating audiences with her powerful voice and emotive delivery. Boyle has Venus in Aries as well.

Holiday Mathis' debut novel, "How To Fail Epically in Hollywood," is out now! This fast-paced romp about achieving Hollywood stardom is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Write Holiday Mathis at HolidayMathis.com.

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